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 Prepare salutations in advance.

You're going to be greeted. It happens every day. So prepare a humorous response in advance!

There are two kinds of salutations.  

1. Friendly greeting.
2. Casual inquiry.  

A Casual Inquiry is a question about the other person's well-being.  It's usually asked without the expectation of an answer.

• "How's it going?"
• "How ya doing?"
• "Sup?"
• "How are you?"

Most of the time,  people respond with "Fine" or "Okay" and it ends there. Funny people take this opportunity to say something memorable.  Your response doesn't have to be brilliantly creative or funny. It just needs to be unexpected.

• "I'm stressed. Trying to get my shopping done for Columbus Day!"
• "Looking for a place to invest my Daylight Savings."
• "Just picking up the few items I need to finish my Doomsday machine!"
• "Thanks for asking! Apparently, my anti-invisibility pill is working like a charm!"

Write down some responses in advance.  Use your own words! Change them up so you're not giving the same response to familiar people.

Friendly Greeting:  This is usually a single word like "Hello!",  "Hi, there!" or "Hey!"  When you are greeted in this manner, your response should be a Casual Inquiry.  Of course, you're NOT going to just ask, "How ya doing?"  Ask casual questions that nobody expects.

• "Are you living a life that defies description?"
• "How did you get your aura so shiny ?"
• "Can you give me 100 pennies for a dollar?"
• "Great day to be a mammal, huh?"

Always initiate a greeting with one of your casual questions. It catches people off-guard and almost always makes them smile. 

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